Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Read best Rodney Dangerfield quotes and sayings. He was an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice artist, producer, screenwriter, musician and author. Here we share motivational quotes by Rodney Dangerfield with you!

1. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield

2. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.

Rodney Dangerfield

3. This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

Rodney Dangerfield

4. I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

Rodney Dangerfield

5. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Rodney Dangerfield

6. I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

Rodney Dangerfield

7. It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

Rodney Dangerfield

Motivational Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

8. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield

9. I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

Rodney Dangerfield

10. A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield

11. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Rodney Dangerfield

12.When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Rodney Dangerfield

13. My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Rodney Dangerfield

14. My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

15. My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Rodney Dangerfield