Inspirational Groucho Marx Quotes About Funny, Club, Cigar & Politics

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Groucho Marx Quotes

Read Inspirational Groucho Marx quotes about funny, club, cigar & politics. Here share collection of best quotes of Groucho Marx with you! He was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star.

1. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Groucho Marx

2. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

3. Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

4. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Groucho Marx

5. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Groucho Marx

6. Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Groucho Marx

7. There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook.

Groucho Marx

8. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Groucho Marx

9. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

10. A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.

Groucho Marx

11. I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

12. Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.

Groucho Marx

13. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Groucho Marx

14. Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

15. All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

Groucho Marx

16. Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Groucho Marx

17. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

18. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

19. Go, and never darken my towels again.

Groucho Marx

20. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Groucho Marx

21. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.

Groucho Marx

22. I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt.

Groucho Marx

23. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx

24. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Groucho Marx

25. If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.

Groucho Marx

26. If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Groucho Marx

27. Room service? Send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx